#as always if theres any elaboration or other things you want to know about im your man

[reborn--maggot]

PLEASE expand on cliff is not technically human. and literally anything else ur thinking abt rn they are lowkey my everything i love gay edwardian weirdos. (also us 🤝 having gay weirdos around the turn of the century and i love that for us)

SO this world is very. Magic and monster heavy it's like. Magic steampunk. Very fun. But what that means is that there are! Monsters! And humans come into contact with less friendly ones from time to time. Cliff in particular interacted with a very nasty monster that I've dubbed "Welly" because I haven't figured out a proper name and it hung out in the well behind his house a lot.

Cliff did not have an awesome childhood so he would hang out in his backyard or in the woods near his house, and Welly was also there, and it tried to get him to be its friend, so that it could. Basically kidnap him and turn him into a monster! <3. He never actually agreed, but there was enough happening that Welly locked in on Cliff and did not ever give up on trying to get him. He and Welly 'talked' probably between ages 8-12, before he decided he genuinely didn't want anything to do with it and stopped going out and talking to it.

During a walk into the woods with his older brother, Theo, when Cliff was around 13, they ended up near a smaller lake and Welly (being a water-based creature) just kind of reached out and grabbed Cliff and dragged him under the surface to try and drown him out of anger (since he refused to go with it), and... it did! It just didn't kill him.

Cliff after that was different, of course, fitting into a type of person I've been calling Touched people- humans that have been exposed to enough magical/monstery interference that they start slowly (or not so slowly) experiencing physical changes and becoming more and more like the monsters/things that 'corrupted' them, in a sense.

The changes were kind of subtle at first, like his eye color slowly shifting from green to blue, but other things have cropped up over time. Physical changes for Cliff range from "he's a bit paler now" to "He has fangs now" or even eventually a spikey gnarly fin situation running down his spine. He also gained the ability to shift his appearance after a while, which he typically uses to hide visible scarring on his face or hands/arms.

Other things Cliff can do include some mind-control-esque things I've been referring to as like, persuasion powers? It works roughly like Allison Umbrella Academy's rumor power, in which he can tell someone to do something and pump just enough willpower into it that they simply follow through with whatever that is. He does not like this power and does not use it often (intentionally). He did actually use it on Theo specifically to force him to leave Johnny alone, making it impossible for Theo to directly harm or attack Johnny... ever. This was necessary, but their sibling horrors can be saved for another time.

He can also soothe/cool injuries (in particular burns) with his hands, he's not really sure how, it just works. On the more extreme side of things he can (on occasion, as it takes a lot of focus and skill) pull the water out of plants (and probably animals if he tried but he's not interested), killing them pretty quickly and definitively. He can also after a certain point produce a sedative-type venom that mixes with his saliva, which he found out about... while making out with Johnny. And he accidentally knocked him out for upwards of 9ish hours. It was spooky!

But all of this to say! He is no longer technically human. He has sensitivities to iron and silver, to the point where it does burn him if he touches it for too long, his eyes are weird and fucked up (guy has night vision effectively), he's stronger than most people reasonably are, his body reacts to most things... differently!

Conveniently, Johnny is one of the leading medical researchers on how best to treat and care for Touched people due to the uniqueness of each person's circumstances, and he and Cliff definitely talk about/research a lot of things directly.

I was trying to keep this one relatively short because there's just SO much to say regarding Cliff's beastliness, and I definitely didn't cover all of his abilities, but this seemed like a fair amount of yap for now.

[ohnoitsz1m]

You mentioned like yesterday that there are tropes you wish there were more things for hlvrai with, what are some of those?

List of things Z1m desperately wants in hlvrai fanfics that are constantly left out:

Bigrey, make benry fuckimg massive please,, g/t frenrey ilu

Sweetvoice and suggestion. I think benrey should use his powers for evil. Eeeeveryones always talkin about using sweetvoice consensually to calm a panic attack. And sure thats cute but what if he did it for selfish reasons. What if gordon is rightfully pissed and instead of talking about it or whatever. Just hit him with the beam. Instant responsibility dodger.

Benrey isnt evil for any good reason hes just Like That. He didnt grow up in a lab or whatever nobodys experimenting on him nobody hurt him and his life was kind of okay before the HEV dickslip. He sucks because hes Benry. No other reason. Hes just like that. This is how he is.

Scorpyisms. Like. Idont want beny to. Be more like scorpy. I want people to understand the way he talks better. I can only tolerate “gordon [insert word]-man” for so long. Scorpy says a lot of funny shit in hlvrai and outside of it! Benry has a very distinct way of speaking but I feel people latch onto one or two jokes a little too much when theres so much more material you can borrow from.

More eldritch beny with weird powers. One thing i really liked about Human Resources Violation is that it took Benrys ability to instantly calm people down with sweetvoice and kimd of elaborated on that by giving him the ability to like… psychically link with gordo. I thought that was neat. I love body horror and monsters and all but more weird emotion/mind based powers would be cool.

For frenrey fics specifically: i think they should be more scared of eachother in post-canon.

Also for postcanon frenrey: leave benny alone with joshua. Stepdad of the year. If ur brave make em not like eachother. If yer REAL brave make em annoy the shit out of Gordon. Foghorn and sweetvoice combo for maximum sonic damage.

MORE GMODISMS. OR LIKE. SOURCE ENGINE FUCKERY. Im not gonna talk tooo much about what I want for this one because I HAVE AN IDEA that im currently figuring out how to execute… i know this is asking a lot of the average hlvrai fan but man,, i love source.

Make benrey do silly little dances. Gmod act muscle

EDIT: also its cool if you do the stuff i complain about in here. Its not usually enough for me to close the fic, in fact theres some that do things that annoy me that ive loved. Its all about execution

[hostilemuppet]

All your ocs (trolls, gems, ect) have such cool designs! I especially love what you do with colors and shapes :D Do you have any specific process when you make them or is it like an elaborate vibe-check

aww, ty :) for every oc no matter what i always try to make sure something about their character is communicated in their design, whether its something like "they are a doctor so they wear a doctors coat" or more like "they are lazy so their outfit looks very low effort"

but for TROLLS specifically, i almost always try to make sure theres some sort of theme or motif going on that i keep in mind throughout the whole design process. keep in mind what you want/need (eg, for slush puppy he needed to look like his parents, while for rosé i established from the beginning "pink glitter troll" and that smth i needed to stick to) and plan around that. heres an attempt at explaining my thought process after the fact

sometimes a theme isnt as obvious, for example brad and angelina were designed to resemble raggedy ann and andy toys but that isnt really obvious when theyre any older than children. i think this is okay since their older designs still show their personalities and are still pretty cohesive while complimenting each other

often youll have a theme or look youre going for but still struggle landing on perfection, and thats fine! a couple of my favourites, cupcake and glitz, took agesssss to nail down

(not including my reference photos for obvious reasons, but there is NO shame in assembling a moodboard for a character design! i highly encourage it in fact!)

for cupcake i knew i wanted her to be sweet lolita from the beginning (since. her name is Cupcake.) but settling on something concrete was trickyyyyyyy. everything from "her outfit should seem cutesy enough to fit her vibe without being so complicated that it looks muddy on such a small chibi body (and would be really hard to draw...)" to "i need to give her a hairstyle that looks trolly enough, oh no this doesnt look trolly enough but the hime cut really fits her personality, does the massive hat help her silhouette?" to "i want her colour scheme to look like youre walking into a candy store, is this incohesive? what if i try going for a chocolate and raspberry vibe? doesnt have what im going for... how do i salvage this?" it was a lot of facing a problem, trying to fix it, and then facing a NEW problem. and thats okay! rome wasnt built in a day yknow. sometimes youll need a loooooot of drafts to get a character design youre happy with. in fact its actually way better to have several drafts, especially if its a character youll actually use a lot! believe me, ive made the mistake before of "i designed what i thought looked good but i actually hated drawing it over and over again". if you love the way it looks and you think its effective, but you hate actually using it, its still a bad design! its half the reason i redesigned penny 😭 to be fair to me though im not sure i really expected to love penny as much as i do now...

with glitz i have less notes since i had an actual person (his co-creator) to give me real time feedback rather than reasoning to myself </3 but the same sort of thing happened. he actually took me more than a month to finalise! part of that was we only had one parent for him decided at first (and it was actually through the design process we figured out the other one! if you know who glitz is you can probably see the exact moment we figured it out 😭). but from the beginning i still knew i wanted him to look flashy with glittery accents (but NOT a glitter troll!) you can see i originally wanted him to have glitter freckles but i swapped that out for a glittery star shaped... okay i never actually decided whether that was makeup or a birth mark. audience interpretation! but i ended up giving him a much more recurring star motif since he wants to be a star and sometimes you gotta beat the audience over the head with symbolism

im not sure if any of that actually helped or if it was just rambling, but the tldr is: make sure you have an end goal in mind! whether its communicating something specific about their personality (eg glitz's flashiness representing his ego and lust for fame) or you have a theme you want to stick to (eg pitaya is obviously styled after actual pitayas), having a goal makes everything so much easier since you know what youre actually working towards! if youre just throwing shit at a wall, you probably wont end up anywhere youre fully satisfied with

[meowdei]

i think the reason ppl like to write wriothesley as smooth and in control and knowing what hes doing all times is bc its like. easy? im not saying theyre Falling For The Facade(tm) or anything but its just very easy to look at what he outwardly presents and accept that as all there is to it. even if you take the caveat of "well of course he has hidden depths, he even jokes about having trust issues" its one thing to go, well, hes not perfect, and another to actually think about how those imperfections would manifest, if that makes sense?

actually i feel that the... casual? way wrio presents himself with IS part of (gestures widely) his problems with personal connections. if he jokes about his issues and redirects questions about his past he doesnt need to open up, because haha, hasnt he already told you he has problems trusting people?

anyway. the way you explained that Hey Actually, Maybe The Consequences Go Deeper Than Just Surface Level is just 👌 A+ elaboration. but idk as i said its easy to just stay at that surface level and not do anything more than that. (not that ppl need to, i mean. we are all here for fun. if you simply want to write about getting railed theres nothing wrong with that obv. its just that sometimes the hornyposting simply boils down complex characters to Smooth Dom(tm) when itd be way more interesting to dig a little deeper imo)

- 🌻

You know I agree I think a lot of times people just want to write a surface level interaction of a relatively simple moment without too much thought of his inner turmoil/trauma and that’s okay. I think they’re enjoyable reads. I think my disconnect with his more “fanon” interpretation as I’ll call it is that I think the persona he has during his surface level interactions sort of gets confused for how he’d react to anything beyond the surface too. It’s not so much that people interpret his emotional maturity and his trauma responses differently than me, but it almost feels like those things aren’t a factor at all when he’s written in something that’s anything a little more on the emotional side if that makes sense. Like it just feels like they are writing someone who’s entirely separate from the trauma and dark past that he has. TO ME, and I say this very emphasized, TO ME, a lot of times it feels like he’s written as though he never had any trauma to begin with—and I don’t necessarily think all of his trauma has to always be tied with his parents. That’s a large factor, yes, but there’s also the fact that a lot of his basic needs as a child, both physically and mentally, were not met and arguably, still are not really met at all. He still hardly sees the sun. It’s implied the fortress doesn’t smell the greatest and he’s used to that. He craves companionship from perhaps a pet or a small creature of sorts but ultimately decides it’s unethical to have a living creature there with him. Most of his character centers around being failed to be provided by the basics of what nurtures a healthy individual, so it’s only natural that when he’s put in an actual intimate relationship where both people are required to meet each others needs, he will fall short. And that’s okay, ofc—I don’t think he’s a bad partner for it, but I do think that writing him in more vulnerable and emotionally charged scenes if people are, requires a little more instability from him regarding his own understanding of what he’s thinking himself. And I only really complain about the absence of this instability when I am reading a scene that feels like it’s intended to be emotionally charged/vulnerable.

WHICH again, I’m not saying that my interpretation is the law LOLLLL I’m sure a lot of ppl disagree with my portrayals and that’s okay. But I do personally think that a lot of his outward charm and charisma gets confused for him being healed and having a grip on his complicated feelings about intimacy and trust in general. I think that in a deeply close and intimate relationship, a lot of his unresolved feelings would start to show up in a bit of a juvenile manner of handling them and that’s because, again, his ability to actually focus on his feelings and process them was stunted at a very juvenile age where he only could focus on survival as his main concern.

THAT BEING SAID. Everyone is entitled to their own understanding of his character and I think people are very talented when it comes to writing him. But I am also just extremely picky and wish more fics that overlapped with my own interpretation would come my way bc I wanna read them and enjoy them 😔

[snekdood]

anyways, for no particular reason, all the instances of misogyny i've experienced in my life, at least that I can currently think of (might update with more):

-dumb blonde jokes

-people making fun of my weight all growing up

-family obsessing over how i look and dress and trying to make sure i'm not seen as "weird" or "taboo"

-ppl thinking any time i was masculine or tomboyish it meant I was a lesbian, which is also just lesphobia

-my gma telling me all growing up when I would eat something sweet or full of carbs "a second on the lips, forever on the hips" (testosterone would disagree with her on that one)

-literally anything and everything i learned at "manners camp",a place my parents sent me and my siblings literally just to punish us.

-people treating me however they want

-people treating me like a sex object at the age of 11

-being sexually abused by a family member at 11 because he knew he could get away with coercing me into it vs my older sister who would know better.

-being taught that I was supposed to tolerate pain during sex and nothing else really, didn't even know how to actually turn myself on.

-being coerced into sexual favors by some older man while I was like 11-12 in a chatroom and doing live video for him

-being coerced into sexual favors by another older man in wow for some expensive mounts while I was 12-13 and doing live video for him, multiple times I think too

-being catcalled by an older man while i was on vacation somewhere else at age 13, in front of my family

-being called dollface by a guy in school for wearing make up that other kids also wore plenty of

-going from being made fun of by all the guys in my class to them sexualizing me

-some guy making fun of the way I smelled down there, as if he would know, and if he really cared he would have pulled me aside and told me about it instead of making fun of me for it in front of other people

-literally the entire way my brother treated me growing up, which I dont feel like im allowed to elaborate on given too many eyes on me

-the way ppl treated me growing up- it was clear they were saying even more misogynistic things about me behind my back.

-family members making fun of me by saying i was meg from family guy, the notoriously abused character

-people only taking me seriously enough to sexualize me

-people only valuing my body and not me as a person

-people thinking they can grab me and do whatever they want to me, many, many times in my life.

-people treating me like im incapable of a lot of shit

-people treating me like i have to be a lesbian or something and it cant just be that im a guy, which falls under the category of transandrophobia, but to me it seems clear they only feel that way bc they think im a woman who cant think for myself 😒

-my father asking "why i cant just be a cool girl" in reference to my transness, again, also falling under transandrophobia, but its clear he thinks this way bc he doesnt think im capable of fully making decisions for myself bc he thinks im a woman.

-people who "respect my identity" but still treat me the exact same as they do women, again falling under transandrophobia.

-i'm definitely diagnosed for adhd, at least I was as a kid, but also i'm p sure I have other neurodivergencies which also influenced how people treated me along with perceiving me as a woman, which was horrible. ppl treating me like im stupid, like I "wont know" they're doing something shitty to me, treating me like my only purpose is to be there to be made fun of rather than see me as a whole person

-ppl treating me like theres no way im a man, that theres just "other types of being a woman you havent tried yet", but no matter how i put on the mask of being a woman, it always feel incorrect and wrong. again tying into transandrophobia, bc again, ppl only do this bc they think im a dumb misguided woman who needs to be handheld through life

-being catcalled by men outside my apartment door bc they think im a woman bc i have long hair and am short, which im counting as transandrophobia personally, even if they dont know (im not entirely convinced they dont, ik one guy involved has seen me in a "im not a woman" shirt, though he might've not told anyone)

need i go on?

[jesskasb]

Ok but which drv3 fic are you reading. And is it good so far

it's "amalgamate" by doctorhaifisch !! and it is good so far yeah! really elaborate answer under the cut, i went on about this for longer than i shouldve. sorry. ill take any opportunity to ramble about v3. :']

based on the hits and the amount of fanart ive seen of it, it seems everyone and their mother has read it... however ive been purposely living under a 2 bedroom rock for like 4 years so ive only gotten around to it now after seeing an artist i follow say it made them reconsider a few things about ouma and it made them like kaito and realize how intelligent he is and how fascinating his role in chapter 5 was— and i was like wow, that must be a based fucking fic! it took me years to see kaito more than just a loud guy with a savior complex, and now that im a huge fan of him, i wanted to see what kind of fic could open someone's eyes to his awesomeness.

i check it out *really* skeptically, mainly cause i dont trust most people's depiction of ouma. they either make him genuinely not give a shit about things and just be a terrible person for no reason, or they make him too emo in a way he simply isnt. the main reason i even gave it a shot despite never having read a v3 fic in the 6 yrs ive been a fan, is that it said that the tags say the whole fic could be interpreted platonically (#AROWIN) (god knows im not against oumota but i prefer them as friends by a really substantial amount) and the amount of research the author seemed to have poured into strike 9 poison and its real world pesticide counterpart. the art they attached to chapter 1 was really good, too, so that made me curious.

now im in chapter 10/20 and i can say with confidence ive been having a great time. its plenty obvious the author has a lot of love for all of the characters, and even though i thought i could gain no new opinions since i already love ouma and kaito's potential dynamic and everything to do with chapter 5, i ended up being very pleasantly suprised by himiko's depiction here! i cant say im too big of a fan of her, not due to any actual fault in her character but rather kodaka's failings to do anything actually interesting with her. in chapter 9, this author used her untapped potential in a really heartwarming way that i loved. similarly, i have enjoyed seeing their portrayal of kaito and ouma, and it seems there's going to be an arc for ouma to begin seeing his classmates not only as people whose lives are worth saving as much as any other, but to see them as friends and letting them become close with him. ive always been a firm believer that in a non-kg setting ouma could become super close friends with a small handful of people, but this fic is making me reconsider that— maybe its more! another thing im really enjoying are all the fascinating possibilities that the author is exploring for a world in which ouma lives to see chapter 6 and the consequences of his actions. him being there while people investigate his room? most amusing. its all stuff that happens in chapter 5 and 6 until a certain point— just enough to get these two chumps to live, and then... well, i guess ill see how chapter 6 turns out, but as of right now ive been super intrigued and entretained.

i do also have a couple of complaints, but theyre mostly pet peeves and no deal breakers so far: there have been a loooot of pop culture referenced but they all feel in line with stuff kodaka would write so whatever, the author uses italics way more than id like... in the chapters up until 9 there were constant descriptions of kaito seeing ouma as a Kid, and while that in an of itself is true (he is a 17 yr old) the context began feeling a little infantalizing and like kaito himself wasnt 17 as well. theres noticeably less of this in chapter 9 and what ive read of 10, or when theres references to them being kids it includes everyone and theres even a moment where kaito tells ouma theyre the same damn age lol. theres also been a bunch of moments that are clearly very indulgent of ship dynamics and inclinations im not too fond of (particularly between ouma and shuichi) but like i said, nothings been too much of a dealbreaker since the positives far outweigh the negatives!

im currently on a trip where i dont have signal most of the time so i got the epub of the fic to read on the downtime. im def gonna keep reading it, and im excited to see where its going despite some of the cheesy lines such as

(honestly i cant even complain. i dont care its a reference to the title of the game. he Would say that....)

i mean, really, it's such a good depiction of ouma. all his masks, his paranoia, his insecurities, his determination to stop the killing game, the way hes been helping the group while simultaneously remaining isolated, and the way his lies are an extension of his genius but also a constant tool to test his peers. i feel like i dont get to see all of these elements of him expanded upon so extensively like this fic does, and that alone makes me really respect what the author is doing! the word count may be scary but i think youd get something from the fic even if you only read like 5-6 chapters. so yeah in conclusion id recommend it if you give a shit about v3 and are interested in chapter 5 fix it fics LOL

[musubiki]

What are the guild members weird/out of ordinary/embarrassing habits. I mean there’s gotta be something that Lime wouldn’t be caught dead doing, even Mochi can’t know about it. We know Mochi already collects weird shit but when she’s bored late at night does she play with her potion ingredients like dolls in elaborate complex soap opera plot lines?

im just imagining one of their classmates overhearing this one phrase as they walk by mochi in the halls and being like "........................huh?"

BUT !!!! hmmm.......to be honest i never really thought about this.... especially for mochi and lime, in my head theyve always been the type of friends that know everything about each other!!!! i dont think lime has anything he hides from mochi out of embarrassment or otherwise, its part of why he likes her so much is because he doesnt feel like he needs to keep up any kind of image around her!!! when it comes to habits/interests/etc, in his mind he figures "Well she already saw me at every single one of my top 10 most humiliating moments of my life, at this point theres nothing that can deter her (plus I have enough dirt on her that I dont have to feel bad about having any cringe interests)."

as for mochi.........she deadass doesnt think of that stuff. maam mochi was raised a witch, born to be an outsider, literally was not taught to give a fuck about what anybody thinks. ie, she does whatever she likes and figures "If they think I'm weird, I'm actually not, its just that I'm a witch!" even for things that are actually fucking weird even among witches. "Did you just....lick that fucking beetle?" murda says to her, and mochi goes "Huh? That's normal right?" "IT'S NOT!!"

even when it comes to lime, the same mentality applies!! even if she reflected back and thought "Huh, I did weird shit in front of him..." it would gradually become "But he hangs out with me anyway so I guess its okay?" (she asked him once if he though she was weird. he flat out gave her a "Yeah. Very." but then added he likes her better when shes being a weirdo than if she would try to be normal)

as for mochi playing around with her spell ingredients........i can 100% see her doing that. shes definitely the type to give them very unoriginal names like "Mr. [ingredient]" and uses magic to animate them. bonus points if lime walks in on her in the middle of act III, part II, and watches and/or joins her (throws in ridiculous plot twists and spin-offs and they start arguing if the young family he manufactured for Sir Moss is necessary to the storyline)

(the only thing they dont tell each other about/never talk about is love, for obvious reasons. theyre both nervous as fuck. also, neither of them have brought it up before so they both think after a while "Well they never talk about it so maybe I shouldn't ask..."

lime knows boys never ask mochi out. ever. he didnt want to bring it up if it was a sensitive subject for her (no one wants to talk about how no one finds them attractive, and he figures theres nothing he can do about it so he leaves it alone). same with mochi, she knows lime flat out rejects all the girls who come to him and is too afraid to ask why. she doesnt want to know the answer if its something like "Yeah I don't care for a relationship, period." shed rather live in delululand)

[lorillee]

ok well while im waiting for this wretched bus i think its a suitable time to share my y3 thoughts. as always not in any sort of real or coherent organization im not writing an essay so idgaf

overall: better than kiwami 2 ‘s main plot but again 65% of my beef with that game was kiryu/sayama. Which we have talked and complained about extensively

we’re just gonna talk as i remember so lets actually start with a complaint: Real question what on planet stupid earth whats the point of kazama’s brother

likw the yakuza series is frankly no stranger to cheap twists regarding their villains for no reason other than shock value but usually im able to forgive because its like not that important or alternatively really funny and not that important

but kazama having a younger brother is an INSANE thing to bring it and not elaborate on basically at all and do LITERALLY NOTHING WITH?!?!?!??!!??????!??? like THEY DIDNT EVEN USE IT AS A LENSE THROUGH WHICH TO EXPLORE EITHER KIRYU OR KAZAMA OR THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO EACH OTHER!?!?!!!!!!????!?! WHAT !!!!!!!!!

like no words. WHAT?

kind of pisses me off they killed off kashiwagi for like no reason at all also. Like his death did not affect the plot in legitimately any way and to be honest genuinely i did forget he died

^speaking more on this it also pisses me off they like did not explore or elaborate on kiryu’s feelings on this despite the fact that kashiwagi was the one person he had left from the pre kiwami 1 era And like. well we did nothing with this. makes me mad

lets also take a minute to discuss mine

like i think hes an interesting character and a fun antagonist for this game but my issue is i feel like they could have spent more time fleshing out his issues and his relationship with daigo and just a bit his beef with kiryu

like i think the setup for his obsession with daigo is there and you could do something reaaallly interesting with it like i said in that one post to mine it would seem that daigo was born with everything mine had ever wanted and i reaaallllyyy really so bad wish they had DONE something with that.

additionally while i like the interpretation of a one sided obsession in mine’s part it frustrates me that we got absolutely like nothing from daigo on his relationship with mine because i think even just a flashback scene or two wouldve gone a really long way in making this relationship something the audience gets invested in

like i think yakuza 0 did a much better job of tackling this issue and to be fair its not a 1:1 equivalent becasue its not like mine was not hanging out with kiryu but even though we dont see a ton of oda and tachibanas relationship on screen wrt them interacting with each other, the background we’re given on their story and odas devotion to tachibana does a lotttt of legwork in making it believable and interesting. whereas i feel like with mine. I dont even know but we got basically nothing on his relationship with daigo other than like 3 or 4 lines of dialogue and general insanity. and it frustrates me because we had something really good here but whatever

ok lets talk about something marginally more positive. personally really love kiryu starting up an orphanage really special to me watching him run around like a crazy person trying to manage being a single mother of 8

also absolutely adore the oldest daughter role haruka has taken on in this environment and the shape her dynamic with kiryu takes on as a result. its actually so special and so important. TO MEEEEE

lowkey(highkey) wish they had done more in terms of majima actively looking like the most dead inside person on planet earth but its whatever (kicks rocks

like consistently my issue with these games is that i feel like they have too much on their plate and theres about a thousand ideas and nobody wants to let go or streamline, so we kind of get a bunch of things that are relatively unremarkable and some things that are really interesting and have a lot of ground to build on but the problem is that because theres so much bloat everything gets the same amount of exploration. Which is like well ok thats fine when its not that important but i think we should go back. and elaborate on some of these more major points or just cut them out if you’re NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT?!!!!!??!? but whatever

like to be clear im happy they introduced these concepts because now i can play around in this sandbox to make something interesting and compelling to me. but as a storytelling enthusiast it frustrates me

daigo waking up from a coma and immediately pulling out a gun to start shooting may seriously be one of the funniest moments in this entire series to date. Where was he hiding that thing. honestly entire game worth it just for this moment Who pitched it and how can i thank them

anyways so overall: had good concepts, some of them fumbled and others executed well, definitely enjoyed. We couldve had more majima though

[system-of-a-feather]

Also a lil more elaboration on this post from the OG guy in the system who talks this shit but it's also important to know when adopting radical self acceptance is that being a fucking idiot and a coward and crap literally has no inherent "oh Im a good or bad or cool or lame" person on it's own

Literally everyone is stupid in their own way and literally everyone has the things they are scared to deal with and face from time to time. I'm a part very dissociated from the concept of fear and my brain converts it fast to other shit, but I do fear letting myself down - both as a part and as a part ofba system - and doing harm by the few I deeply respect; momentarily I am prone to being scared of having my shit taken - trauma crap

That shits literally normal, being scared of shit is literally a completely normal and natural thing across almost all animal species (some argue all). There is no personal judgement attached to literally any feeling on its own.

The difference is whether you can look at that feeling and say "damn I'm scared and that a sucks ass feeling" and actually accept, address and deal with that feeling - or if you are going to deny-deny-deny.

And that isn't to say "Oh you are a stupid coward for wanting to deny it" because again, it is OK to admit you are scared and not ready to deal with something. That takes huge fucking balls to admit. If you aren't ready to deal with it, cool man that's fine, but do take a moment to actually affirm that with yourself - that CURRENTLY in the moment you are not ready to deal with it.

That is not "running away from it like a coward" that is acknowledging the truth of your current state and leaving space for it.

If you can get comfortable admitting that you are too scared to do something right now, you are inherently - in subtext - letting yourself know that 1) you accept that you are scared and it is a real thing about you that you are willing to embrace but also 2) that as much as that is a truth of your current state, that it is just that - a current state.

There literally is no shame or inherent judgement to be found in a feeling alone. Feelings alone don't mean shit. Feelings alone LITERALLY don't mean SHIT. It's how you handle and act in regards to them both internallyvwith yourself and externally with others that determines if you are being cringe (derogatory) or cringe (affectionate) and sorry not sorry, every action you do there will be someone who thinks you are cringe so theres no escaping being cringe WHILE being your authentic self.

Anyways, building radical self acceptance is a hard thing to do so I got mad respects for anyone building it. Most of the system doesn't get it yet either and so I get how hard it is and all.

I actively basically bully and harrass Riku about it 24/7 7 days a week 52 weeks a year for the past 3 years until they get it into their dumb skull. And while I call them a fuckin dumbass, I am pretty proud of how casually and readily they have learned to admit when they are being "a coward" which is easier verbage for them than outright saying "scared" which I'll take.

But honestly, get in touch with your vulnerable "not cool" parts of yourself that you are embarrassed about and just get used to stating it as it is. Those vulnerable and embarrassing aspects are only as embarrassing and insecure as you let them be. If you hide them and try to keep people from seeing it, of course you are going to feel scared to let others see it, of course you are going to feel insecure, and of course you aren't going to be confident when anything relating that comes up out of fear of your insecurity showing.

It's self assassination honestly. Judging your emotions and internal experiences like they mean anything other than a reflection of your current self and what you need us just not productive.

But I digress. Its a complicated and difficult thing to build and work on and itll always be more nuanced and specific to the individual than I can ever chart out in a casual ramble on some of my life philosophies and principles on shit.

So take home message? Try to stop judging your feelings and just, ya know, have them. They may suck but its just how it is in the moment and the moment can always change.

[dearweirdme]

one day I'll stop writing essays in your asks but your questions and the responses are always so interesting to me especially as a non taekooker! So here's another one,lol.

I always knew another member was coming to taes picnic. I knew for the same reason I wasnt surpised when 3 of the members performed at yoongis concerts.

BTS want to see army. That's their whole thing. If they can make time for it that's what they're going to do. I'll admit that I thought it was gonna be JK who came and I assumed it was going to be him up until I heard he left Korea again. Then I was pleasantly surprised when Jimin came.

Not to shade the person who is exhausted by the "vmin" soul mate thing but Jimin wasn't going to taes vicnic because of some elaborate ruse by hybe to push the soul mate narrative, like its not 2020. Nor do i think he was there to make it seem like their relationship is soooo strong.

I want to remind people this is the duo who people have joked about being divorced all year. They both have only recently started mentioning each other and hanging out so I definitely dont think they care about our perception of their closeness through a platonic soulmates lens.I think Jimin and taes friendship is beautiful and i think if youre lucky you'll have several playonic soul mates in your lifetime. I think thats what jimin and tae were/are saying when and if they still use that word about each other.

Its pretty obvious that Jimin was there, not for any elaborate narrative or as a flimsy substitute for Jk. Jimin came cause tae asked him too and beause Jimin enjoys seeing army. Its pretty in his nature to show up for his members and he misses army. He told us he did in his live less than 48 hours ago so why wouldn't he jump at the chance to see us/them?

As to why JK wasn't there its the same reason he didn't get on live for like a month. He had a schedule, he's very busy. And for any taekooker who worries or gets irrationaly annoyed by them not having as much time together, you should know that taekook is more used to each others schedules than any of us are. Im sure JK was worried about tae and missed him when tae was going non-stop as I'm sure tae is worried and missing JK now. But whatever you believe they're doing, jk not being there today doesn't change it and I'm sure he wish he could have been.

I dont see him not showing up as a grand scheme by the company to push any type of narrative but just obvious logistics. Frankly if JK was home and didn't have a schedule I think JK and Jimin both would have come.

((((And this is a bit of a tangent but regarding the idea that theres a fandom narrative that taekook isn't close, I personally am not a taekooker or a jikooker and have never seen that narrative in any of my fandom spaces. I don't think the majority of the Fandom outside of the straw lovers believes that at all, but i could be wrong. Now do I think there's a huge focus on their closeness, when it comes to marketing or pairing them up? No, lol.But if I'm in a queer relationship with my band mate and I'm not ready to be perceived by the public I would take there not being a huge focus or emphasis on my relationship as a blessing. Just a different perspective i thought id offer ,but I get pushing back on the narrative when you see it because honestly its annoying when anyone says two members arent close, but I will say ive never heard anyone say taekook isnt close personally.))

anyways that's my essay for the day and since I seem to be popping up here a lot I will sign off this time so in the future when i pop up you know it's me lol- BYM

Hi BYM-anon!

Sorry for being a bit late in responding!

I agree with most of your ask. I think the things we disagree on are that I think Tae and Jk are more to each other than friends, and I think a large portion of fandom actually does think Tae and Jk drifted apart between 2016 and 2020. I think most of fandom sees that they are close now, and have been for some years.. but there's still those (yes, probably Jkkrs mostly) that disagree.

I think in part the lack of Tkk footage is from allowing them privacy and safety. From Bighit's perspective, having an actual in band relationship must've been super unconvenient, no matter how they personally view queer relationships or Tae and Jk as persons, business wise it's seen as a risk. There's the risk of them breaking up, there's the risk of them having a rocky relationship with drama, there's the risk of them being distracted, there's the risk of discovery in a queer unfriendly country. So I think as soon as BH became aware, they introduced boundaries and rules Tae and Jk had to adhere to. Which isn't all too weird, because in 'normal' situations companies would also probably tell their dating coworkers to act professional. I think Tae and Jk, as well as the other members, do want their privacy. Was the intent from Bighit to protect them? No, I think they just want to protect their company. You can tell that at times Jk and Tae did not like the way they were treated.

How do Jk and Tae feel about the boundaries and rules they had to live by? Probably very conflicted. I think rationally they probably understood, but emotionally it was very hard and different situations probably came with varying feelings. There's so much to consider. There's the band as a whole, they wouldn't have wanted to put the other members' future at risk, they also wouldn't have wanted to put their own future at risk (though at some points they might've wondered if things were worth it). Keeping their relationship safe and hidden, was the safest way for them to carry on professionally and privately. But, being young and in love calls for feelings that are so strong.. they must've felt very frustrated at not being able to show that. I think they also felt the rules and boundaries were too strict, prohibiting them from even acting as close friends. Having to watch other members be close with your partner (having a full blown other ship to take root) while not being able to do much themselves. I think it truly hurt them.

We see a lot of "Jk is trying to hide" stuff, and I do think Jk is a bit more carefull (of sharing friendships and bonds in general), but when all you've ever known is to hide your relationship, that's what has become your safe place. I do believe Jk doesn't like the shippers comemnts in his lives, and justly so. It's people asking for information they have no right to.

Mentioning Tae and Jk in one sentence always comes with some tension.

[astrolina-and-co]

For this ask game if it's still open, 🧊, 🧠 and 💀 for Cass and/or Corvi :3

ooo thankie :D

for cass:

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

no its not, their initial sketch they were smaller and had a different fit and different hairstyle but two days later i cleaned it up to what it is now(and over time i changed up their hair and gave them the pink jacket)

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

I really enjoy their current design and I really like their relationships with the other characters(especially leo, i love their father-child relationship and the fact that Leo needs Cass as much as cass needs leo[which i will elaborate on in the future]). Theyre very skrunkly and fun to draw :D

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

i havent yet put this into thought but i know that Cass eventually develops autophobia over time(which comes in to key later in the story where they get seperated from the majority of the crew except for princess[have i mentioned princess yet? shes a robot :3] and their over all terrfied because of this and also the uncertainity of what will happen to the crew, especially Leo)

for corvi:

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

yep!! im really happy about their design, funky purple alien who's Cass's older sibling :3 theres probably some subconcisous inspiration i took but i cant really remember at the moment :/

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

like cass they're also really fun to draw but I also like the silly mad scientist thing they got going on, always coming up with crazy new inventions and exploded things(as long as it doesn't cause toomuch damage, they don't want to get in trouble)

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

i gotta find the name of this but they really hate constant loud noises and get overstimulated often(he sometimes goes to sit along higher areas of the ship to work on projects of his alone, corvi often needs their space). They also have a fear of not being heard or listened to or being ignored(i forgor the name), before being adopted by Leo, he was often ignored by the others in the orphanage.

[fictionfixations]

Fatebreaker / MCYT Isekai Fic (Fic Rec)

Tommy is a young nineteen-year-old boy who dies in an alleyway alone with no one to mourn him. Suddenly, his life turns upside down when he reincarnates into the novel world of The Ender Prince as Prince Theseus Craft, the third son of the Antarctic Empire and the first main antagonist of the book. With knowledge of the future, Tommy must act, lest he be executed. The world is not as simple as was presented in the book. There is far more going on in the background of this world than The Ender Prince ever touched on. If Tommy wants to live- if he wants to be happy- he will have to fight to break his fate and the fates of the people he has opened his heart to. Alongside Tommy's struggles through childhood, excerpts of The Ender Prince are shown, revealing the story of the book's original protagonist, Ranboo, who has lost all his memories and is searching the world for a purpose.

its genuinely so good

and i am baffled that theres not more attention on this

LOOK AT THIS

theres so much worldbuilding its insane. its all really elaborate and i really like it (and it also includes a bunch of ppl from different SMPs. theres DSMP, QSMP, Empires, WitchCraft (yknow the one with nercromancer scott), and also others im not too familiar with)

do note that this is only his CHILDHOOD (basically the part of his life until the start of the book that the world is based on, aka before protag of that book appears. ranboo will appear in the next work)

its not boring theres so much shit that happens and also stuff thats setting a lot of things for the future.

and

i really appreciated it. and i really think you should give it a shot too maybe potentially possibly????

it can kind of get complicated (theres so many terms that i dont really know the difference of. but it also has some inspiration from genshin, and i assume honkai too but i didnt read all the notes because i was too invested in the story so oops)

anyway. you might disapprove because there are characters who their real life counterpart has been involved in.. controversies..

or you might not be a part of this fandom anymore, which good for you

for me, i always view them as separate from whoever plays them (so this means i can still appreciate a character even if like their actor was an asshole yknow? i get that thats a complicated debate in and of itself though)

but i wouldnt recommend if you dont want to even interact with anything related to that kind of stuff since there is wilbur (i havent been keeping up with whos controversial, i just knew wilbur's cause he was one of my favorites and i liked his music. unfortunately.)

there is also shubble. and they are friends. (and this was written BEFORE the controversy even came out so errr)

so uh. yeah. if you dont wanna deal with that thats fine but uh

👍

i havent really been following any of the other mentioned creators enough to tell if theres any other controversy related to them that i should warn you about so uh. be warned.

[lesboygamzee]

Any examples about the gamtav artist thing?

i dont really want to give examples because i dont want to shit on specific artists even if they piss me off but i can elaborate on shit ive noticed . gonna get ranty so :

tl;dr : gamtav artists who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros have a weird way of characterising both which makes me very uncomfortable and im upset about it because im a little hater . and also because its gross and annoying

i feel like a lot of gamtav artists who just like gamzee and dont care much for tav make it pretty clear they just want gamzee to get what he wants forever and always . which is Bad . thats pretty vague still but yknow ..

they make tavros just kind of . there as a support to gamzee to kiss all his problems away and make him happy and dont really do much of the other way around ( and if they do its always gamzee being like ' [fucked up font] I WILL PROTECT YOU ' while also acting like a romantic relationship would fix tavs problems with .. romance related shit . because they dont want to see the actual issues tavros was going through because they dont care enough about her

obviously the soft non-confrontational accessory-to-another-character characterization of tav isnt specific to gamtav shippers . it is very unfortunately huge in the fandom . but its still very common with them despite it going against .. everything that makes the ship potentially interesting imo .

tavros isnt soft she doesnt go along with everything someone wants of her . especially not a highblood are you fucking insane . tavros should reject gamzee after that initial conevrsation she did not fucking reciprocate ( i dont care about your fanfic ! you arent fixing shit ! ) and even if she did she made it very clear she still didnt want that relationship because give her a fucking break man . if its gonna happen let her come back in a few sweeps when she has less shit to come to terms with and start it up on her terms thats fine . this is the best way of doing it for both of them . gamzee doesnt get to immediately get what it wants and tavros actually gets a fucking say in things . its not that hard to understand

even if it isnt as obvious with some artists its still There . gamzee is the main character focused on in the relationship because the artist just . really doesnt know enough about tavros to write about her further than ' gamzees [girl]friend who [vague traits about her that might not even be canon] ' . and they probably dont care .

they dont care that tavros should be more mean for her own good even if its just playful banter they dont care thered realistically be some conflict between the two if they were ever actually involved with eachothers lives to that extent they dont care that they characterize tavros the way shes expected to act by other characters and not how she actually does . they dont care that tavros is a character separate from the ship they have reduced her down to despite her having ONE ONSCREEN CONVERSATION with gamzee . two pesterlogs that make up one converaation . come on man

i was definitely being a little generalized with the whole ' you can ALWAYS tell super easy ' thing which i will admit i tend to do but really people who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros are just . very prominent in the fandom and there is an upsetting trend od how they porteay gamtav and how it spreads as if any of it is supported by canon .

theres not really a point to this i just really adore tavros shes my favourite ever and has been since her first pesterlog with dave ans it pisses me off to see how the fandom reduces her down to a horribly mischaracterized ship that is admittedly a huge comfort to me !! its upsetting !!

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[lolibles]

oddly specific things i want to do with the genshin characters.

characters included: klee and albedo ft, kaeya, kazuha, venti, xiao, zhongli and hutao

klee and albedo: build a really big lego sculpture together. i feel like it’ll be really cute, like albedo wont be as critical and wont act as if its some elaborate experiment because klee is there. and klee being klee, would most likely try to eat a lego or like lose a piece by accident (just chaotic evil really). honestly i think it’ll just be a really fun and wholesome experience because albedo rarely spends much time with klee and she’d be ecstatic to be with albedo doing a puzzle. bonus: kaeya shows up to help when klee falls asleep :)

kazuha: MAKE A CHERRY PIE! or any pie for the matter. honestly i’m not even sure why but i want to make a pie with him. i feel like it would be such a fun thing, in one of his voice lines he mentioned liking any food that has been carefully made with love. so i mean pies aren’t the easiest thing to make (i think) and it would be such a cute experience to do it together (especially if its both of our first times)! i also think he would want to share the pie with like beidou and some other crew mates! so we’d go around offering slices to pie to people!! so wholesome,,,

venti: watch a bunch of studio ghibli movies with him. oh my god, movie night with venti? HELL YES. would probably arrange a charcuterie board, wine or literally any other snack! i feel like venti would appreciate a lot of the studio ghibli movies because of the whole aesthetic and the meaning of the movies. and yes we would probably cry together. even it its drunk tears, tears are still tears. bonus: sometimes xiao would show up to these movie nights and fall asleep probably, or he’d just show up and no one knows why.

xiao: go to an aquarium with him. i feel like xiao would really enjoy the aquarium, especially the area with the jellyfishes or the small aquatic animals. its relatively dark with the only light emitted from the animals itself. (where i am from) its pretty cold and honestly strangely comforting, its really pretty and i feel like xiao would feel a little more at peace. we wouldn’t need to talk much, and he would not mind listening to me rant about all kinds of things (idk i talk a lot). i think he’d find the aquarium quite serene so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’d like to take him there! bonus: him being shy and embarrassed so he wouldn’t ask but he’d want to touch the fishes in the touching pond thingy

zhongli: okay this may be strange, but i took world history in school for three years and i really enjoyed learning about it. i love reading fiction books about ww1 and ww2! even if it is a pretty sensitive topic i would want to tell zhongli about the wars in our world. bring him to historical museums, show him movies/ books about it. its generally a really sad topic to speak on but its extremely fascinating! zhongli being himself i think he too would enjoy learning about it. he’s been alive for so long and he knows so much about HIS world. so i think he would like to know more about the world we live in. (also because out of everyone i think he’s most likely to be open to listen about the events) IM NOT SURE IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT OH WELL

hutao: PLAY A HORROR GAME WITH HER! imagine how fun and chaotic that would be, i’m not someone who gets scared from horror games that easily (creeped out probably but not the the extent of nightmares). i feel like it would be so chaotic, hutao might get jumped scared but she likes it, and even if it terrifies her she would always chose the worst way to play the game or purposely seek out the terror. we’d probably do it like at some weird hour in the night, and scream so loud. bonus: if zhongli was there he’d come into the room thinking we were dead or something. he’d stay for a bit but after one jumpscare he was OUT.

not sure where this came from, but i thought of it on the way to school on the train this morning! i will probably make this a series and i think its just a wholesome thing to write :) you can think of this as platonically or romantically (theres not much tho) let me know which characters you want me to write this for!!! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و my dms and asks are open! feel free to let me know if you enjoy this!!

[billylenzstolemyphone]

Saw your post about tcm headcaons I don’t have any yet but I can tell me urs :) !!!!!!!!!

aaghhbrrr okok gkjshkh >:D some of these are pretty popular tcm hc's so just a heads up! dsjhsd these are mostly sexuality/gender/etc. hc's so yeahfhds

- chop top is trans (ftm) and the biggest bisexual you'll ever meet istg- tbh he doesnt rly care about pronouns but the main ones are he/him/it/its!! however there are times where he doesnt want to be referred to at all like DO NOT PERCEIVE IT-

- bubba is pansexual and genderfluid :D !!! def uses he/she/they like a bad bitch >:) and he totally doesnt care abt gender at all sdjdsk just completely in love with whoever it is as a person <3

- dude honestly?? i feel like nubbins is gay but like he wouldnt really care? like he doesnt like to put himself into a single category but isnt really attracted to women ?? BRO IDK AHJGHGD IT MAKES SENSE IN MY BRAIN- he/him pronouns mostly but the same as chop, he doesnt rly wanna be perceived sometimes JSHSK

- drayton is cis and gay. im sorry but i just cant see this poor old man being attracted to women- HES JUST RLY FRUITY?? MANNN IDK- he/him pronouns and would be confused if asked what pronouns he uses, not bc hes an asshole just because no ones ever asked that before

- nubbins and franklin were childhood best friends. no i will not elaborate.

- so like im just going along with the whole 'nubbins' actual name is just the actors name' so its edwin but hes almost always gone by nubbins sjsdhskf also chops actual name is robert/bobby >:) i just use bubba because i rly dont know what i think their name would be umhfdfh i know its thomas/jedidiah in some of the remakes but those just dont fit for me idk-

- chop top is 100% neurodivergent like LOOK AT HIM. THERES NO WAY HES NOT DSKJSKD so are nubbins and bubba obv >:) we autistic bitches stick together <3 PFFTTHGF

uuhmmnhgdffdjghdh yeah theres some!! im sorry that its mostly just one thing i wrote about :(( im currently really busy with school and other things going on rn so i hope its sufficient aahh- thank you sm!! mwah take care <3 xoxoxo